Christmas reminded me just where I want to be in life, and as I sit in Jasper procrastinating, I realize my life is in a bit of a limbo until that place is available to me.
I have stuff piled in my closet that needs to be dealt with, from when Josh and I dumped it here on Dec. 21. It is now Jan. 2, and I am struggling to get myself into it. I have a lot on my mind.
Yea, I bet you’d be putting this off too.
Jasper is beautiful, and I love my job, the people I’ve met and the picturesque mountains. What I’m reminded of right now, is someone so far away. I feel homesick, even though I’m technically home. I think as soon as I met Josh my home became wherever he is. I have to wait atleast a year to be home. It’s a long way to go, but what makes it possible is weeks like Christmas, when we are normal. We go on dates — normal things — that other couples get to do, and maybe take for granted. Our favourites are movie dates and going out to dinner. On Christmas morning we worked on –and completed — a crossword together. How nerdy, right?
We also love to watch our favourite sports, hockey for me and football for him. I don’t think Josh is much of a hockey fan, but whenever the IIHF tournament was on, or the Canucks were playing, he was a fan for me. When he was watching football, I asked a million questions and he patiently answered them all. I finally understand football a bit, and while I am still a glaringly obvious Canadian hockey fan, I see why so many people watch football.
The worst part is when we leave one another, and we shift back into long distance. When seeing each other any time soon is really uncertain. We answer questions of “When will you see each other again?” constantly. I really hate when people ask that. I shouldn’t — but right now, I don’t know. Being asked when is a grave reminder of how physically far away we are.
But, spending Christmas together was the best way to end my year. This has been a hard 10 and a half months in someways, but they’ve also been the best of my life. I look forward to reaching a year, then a year and a half, and two and three and 10…..